Friendly Precautions Against Loose Pigs


When going out
Beware the snout.
First open the curtain
And be certain
No cloven hoof
Waits on the roof
Or tail that screws
Hides like the Sioux.

Beware that the fog
Brings no hog,
And flee all grunts
When out on hunts.
If you must plow
Avoid the sow
And little squealers
With your four-wheelers.

If offered pork
Put down your fork.
And keep all lard
From off your yard.
In place of ham
Pull cans of spam.
From friends with bacon
Be you forsaken!

So you are fine
And own no swine.
Still keep your digs
Locked to loose pigs.
Gourmand and glutton
Now gnaw on mutton.
As with birds before
So now eschew the boar.


2 thoughts on “Friendly Precautions Against Loose Pigs”

  1. If the Ewe Flu fulfills the pandemic promise, it may then – and only then – be called the You Too Ewe Flu.

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